#14 "The 17 Deadly Sins"

Episode 14 in the series That Other Flock

If you haven’t experienced the other episodes in the That Other Flock series, you can find them in the Index. Our characters are connecting the dots episode to episode more than originally planned so you’ll wanna know what’s happened before. Thank you for reading!

“It’s not fair that I got gluttony,” Toby said this as he ate his third jelly-filled donut. The irony went right over his head. He dusted powered sugar off his belly which peeking out from under his Star Wars t-shirt.

“You didn’t ‘get’ gluttony Dude, you’re just a big guy who loves his sweets. It’s all on you….literally.” Brian said.

“Maybe I have a sugar addiction,” was Toby’s response. “I mean, all those white powders are habit forming, right?”

Brian stared across the top of his styrofoam coffee cup. He’d paused mid-sip. “What are you saying?”

The tension in the church kitchen went up about 1200%. I held my breath.

Until that moment, everything was smooth. Leon looked better than last week. Turns out he’d found a job that didn’t involve pushing a mower for Betty.

Betty and Eve were standing together congratulating themselves on having helped Leon get his job. After his messy departure from the international house of corporate coffee because of sexual harassment accusations, Leon’s outlook was bleak. I don’t know exactly how old he is, but he’s north of 65 for sure. Things are tough for an old dude who didn’t save enough. Somehow, Eve and Betty had gotten him connected with the owners of a local coffee shop and now Leon’s an assistant manager.

What a change a week makes, at least for Leon.

Jared was another story. Our fill-in worship leader and all around…I don’t know…sweetly goofy Golden Retriever wasn’t working at the church anymore. Turns out he really doesn’t have any other marketable skills, at least any skills that Betty and Eve had found. But they were trying.

Brian stepped toward Toby. “What are you saying, Fat Man? White powder?”

Toby looked stricken. He paused mid-bite, eyes wide. He said, “Cocaine? Your drug.”

Brian’s intensity had everyone’s attention.

“Easy, Brian,” Leon said. “Toby’s not being mean, you know him. Come on, relax.”

“My struggle’s not with coke, it’s with what I do when I do coke.” Brian said. “That’s the truth.”

“Same,” said Eve. We all stared, and she said, “Well, it wasn’t coke but…let’s say mood altering substance. You know? That’s how I ended up reaching into some guy’s pants…”

Betty saved us by saying, “Whoa. We don’t need to hear the specifics. We get it. Adults made a baby.”

“That’s why it’s a sin. Sex out of wedlock. Now let’s leave it, OK?” Leon said this as he refilled his coffee cup.

“Out of wedlock!” Toby laughed. “It’s like we’re in an episode of Little House on the Prairie. Out of wedlock! Somebody knocked up our sinning spinster.”

“Sinning spinster? Does that mean what I think it means?” Eve's cheeks were red as she spoke. Looking at Betty, she said, “What’s a spinster?”

Betty answered, “You’re not a spinster, you might have sinned, but—”

Before I could say anything, Eve said, “It’s like if it feels good, you can’t do it. You wanna do that? Sorry, you’ll go to hell and burn forever! I mean, what is sin, anyway?”

“What do you mean, what is sin? Duh. Sins. You know. The big 10! Moses. Stone Tablets!” Toby was back on his game.

Leon said, “Look, people sin. That’s why we’re here. That’s church. That’s what happens. That’s why we have Jesus. Blood of Jesus washes away our sins. Ask for forgiveness and if you’re sincere, He’ll forgive. All good. Just remember to ask for forgiveness. Nobody wants to go to hell.”

“Washes our sins away?” Eve was looking at me as she spoke. “I don’t know. I don’t I need that. I really don’t need any help feeling worse than I do, what with morning sickness and no job. Isn’t that enough judgment from God? Fool around and find out, Eve, here’s a dose of daily vomiting and unemployment to remind you that God hates you.”

“Fool around…” Toby said with a laugh. “You did, you fooled around and you—”

“Toby,” Betty was using her commanding voice with a pointed finger. “Eve doesn’t want you to joke about her pregnancy. Not funny.”

“OK, sorry. But gluttony’s a sin and cocaine’s not?” Toby said, “That doesn’t make sense. Coke is illegal everywhere but Amsterdam. Donuts aren’t illegal anywhere. And sex, that’s always a sin.” He looked around at us.

“Sex isn’t always a sin,” Leon said. “You know, marriage.”

Eve said, “Look, I didn’t grow up with all the same rules you guys did. So, this is all about trying not to go to hell? Doesn’t that seem…” she trailed off as she thought. “I don’t know, out of proportion? We live our lives trying not to go to hell? So, this is like a lifelong season of Survivor? Doing challenges and trying to get God, played by Jeff, our reality show host, to let us pass the next challenge so we can go to heaven? That’s what this is about?”

“Why are you so focused on gluttony, Toby?” Betty was trying to get control of this morning’s scrum.

“Pastor.” Toby answered. “He read off all the sins this morning.”

“Not all the sins, there’s more.” Leon answered, unhelpfully.

“There’s more?” Eve's shoulders slumped and just for a moment, I saw the little girl she’d been not too many years ago. “Isn’t there one list? How do you people do this?”

“10 Commandments,” Leon said.

Toby said, “Wait a minute.” He stood there with his lips moving silently, counting on his fingers. “Hey Guys, I’m in the clear. Gluttony’s not in the 10 Commandments. Whew.” The smile of relief took over his entire face. I hated to break it to him.

“Toby,” I said. “The 10 Commandments are complicated…”

“And political,” Jared dropped in.

“Point taken,” I said. “But the fact remains, there are behaviors described as sin in the Bible. The 10 Commandments are the Old Testament and Jesus nullified them on the cross. That’s the teaching.”

“Gluttony’s a sin, Pastor said, but adultery isn’t? I’m confused.” Toby had a suspicious look on his face.

“Adultery is a sin. Gluttony is a sin. There’s a bunch of sins.” Jared warmed to the topic. “There’s the 7 Deadly Sins…that’s where you find gluttony.”

“I thought that was a Catholic thing?” Betty asked. “Do we have to worry about the 7 Deadly Sins, too?”

“There’s 17 sins, the 10 Commandments plus the Deadly 7.” Toby said this with certainty that would not last very long.

“No, because honor the Sabbath isn’t a thing anymore.” Jared said.

“So, 16 somewhat deadly sins?” Toby said.

“No,” Jared was realizing the theological minefield all around him. And instead of shutting up, he jumped. “No, because there’s some overlap. Breaking any of the 10 Commandments is a sin. Lust is covered under adultery…you can lust without committing adultery, but you can’t commit adultery if you don’t lust.”

“Wait, didn’t Jesus say that if you lust in your heart, you’ve committed adultery?” Toby said. “Is that two sins or one? Eve, what’s your sin count? I think with the drugs, the sex, the lust, the adultery, and the baby, you gotta be way up there.”

“Sin count?” Eve said. “Like my body count?”

“If Eve’s not married, then she didn’t commit adultery.” Unlike Jared, Leon didn’t know he was in trouble. He plowed on into increasing danger. “If the father of the baby is married to someone else, then that would be adultery...I think. Wait… maybe it’s…”

“It’s fornication,” Brian said. “Sexual intercourse between people who aren’t married. My mom drilled that one into me.”

“So, what is your body count, Eve?” Toby said in complete seriousness.

“We’re not going there.” Betty had her hands up again, referee style. “Charlie, jump in here.”

“Betty,” I said. “You can’t imagine how much I don’t want to ‘jump in.’” So, I didn’t.

We were quiet for a moment…which was a blessing considering how things were going. But they were all looking at me like I had the answers.

I really, really needed a drink. But I’d set my daily limit, and I was already halfway through my ration.

Jared, bless his heart, decided that he’d help. “OK, let’s back this up. There are a bunch of sins. Big ones and little ones. Big ones you go to hell for, that’s why they’re called the Deadly Sins. It’s death. The other sins aren’t so big or deadly…”

“No.” I said against my better judgement. “No. Wrong. Shut up Jared.”

He shut up but only after and opening and closing his mouth soundlessly a couple of times.

I said, “The 7 Deadly Sins are called that because they lead to other sins. The Bible never calls them deadly sins. That’s something people added to describe them.”

“So, did I sin or not?” Eve said.

“Definitely,” I answered. “According to the Bible, you sinned.”

“What do you mean, ‘according to the Bible,’ I did, or I didn’t? Right? Going to hell or not?” Eve sounded sincere.

“Look.” I met her eyes as I spoke. “I think most church people think about sin all wrong. The whole point of this life isn’t just ‘sin management.’ This life isn’t a spiritual test or game. This certainly isn’t about a sin count. I don’t think the point is the lists or the rules. That doesn’t sound like Jesus to me.”

“But you have to ask for forgiveness or your sins won’t be forgiven.” Leon said.

“Wait, but what if I forget I committed adultery…in my heart?” Toby said. “What if I miss asking for forgiveness? That’ll send me to hell?”

“You have to ask for forgiveness for every sin?” Eve was astonished. “Every. Sin. Every. Time?”

“Yes.” Leon said.

“No.” I said, shaking my head.

“Stop. Give me a minute,” I said. Gathering my thoughts, I said. “My wife, Jules, loved me, really loved me. When I would come home, she was always glad to see me.” I felt the smile on my face at the same moment I felt tears threatening. “In my memory, I can see her face when she’d see me. She lit up. Huge smile. But you know, I’m kinda a butt to live with. I’m selfish and unaware. I hurt her feelings so many times. When I realized what I’d done, I’d apologize. I’d try to do better…but she knew me and she knew I’d forget to tell her I had to work late or I’d miss an important date. Whatever. You know, selfish butt.”

I looked around. They were nodding.

I continued, “This thing with God isn’t…”

“Wait, what about Jules?” Jared said.

“I’ll get there. This thing with God is a relationship. My marriage was a relationship. She, Jules, just wanted to be with me…me a selfish butt. One time I said something like that to her and said, ‘But you’re my selfish butt and I love you.’”

Betty was grinning, “Oh…that’s sweet.”

“Yea,” I said. “Same with God. He wants a relationship with us. He wants to be with us, selfish butts that we are.”

“Or, fornicators…right?” Toby said, pointing at Eve.

Before she could launch at him, I said, “Or the gluttons among us…” I smiled to soften it, which backed Eve down a notch.

Toby got it and gave Eve a head nod of apology.

“What about sin?” Leon asked me.

“I really don’t know for sure, but here’s my take.” I hoped I was telling them the truth. It was what I believe. “God knows that we’re not only selfish butts, we’re pretty stupid. That’s why we’re called sheep throughout the Bible. God knows what will make our lives harder and what will get in the way of having a relationship with Him. So, He tells us, don’t do that because then you’ll get distracted or your life will be a thousand times worse. That’s where those lists come from. When you think about them, they’re all pretty much about relationship with God and relationships with people.”

“And Jesus?” I knew Brian would go there. He’s our Jesus guy. He said, “Why Jesus?”

“Complicated, very complicated, I think. Bottom-line, God is very, very different from us. He’s holy. He’s eternal. He’s perfect. On and on. Because of that, we can’t have a relationship with Him on our own…we’re too broken, too feral, too selfish. But He loves us. Even if He doesn’t love all of our thoughts or actions. He loves us and wants us to have a relationship with Him. He wants us with Him.”

They were hanging on my words.

“So the cross has something to do with getting us, sins and all, in relationship with God.” I said this silently praying for wisdom. “I don’t worry about the details. But it has to do with love and forgiveness and the ugliness of sin and how far we are from God…without Jesus. But, with Jesus, if you trust Him like Brian does, then you’re golden. Or even, if you’re like me, and are trying to trust as much as Brian, you’re still OK. No counting sins. No worrying about forgetting to ask for forgiveness. That’s all ‘sin management’ crap. That’s what people who don’t understand worry about.”

There were nods all around, but still doubt on their faces. It was too easy and too hard all at the same time.

I said, “For whatever reason, God let Jesus die for you, for me. Truthfully, I really don’t understand it, but that’s what He says. OK. If that’s true, and it is, then God’s not going to count sins. He’s going to love you. And love me. He’s not trying to trap you or trick you or catch you in a sin. He wants you with Him…exactly as Jules wanted me, of course, far more perfectly. Don’t count sins. See His love for you…sin, stupidity, selfishness, and all. Fall into that. Hold on to that. Trust in that. Everything else works out.”

Eve said, “Really? It’s like that?”

“Really.” I said with solid eye contact, like there wasn’t another person on the planet. “God loves you. If you’ll trust in Jesus, then there’s no counting sin. That’s not His way. You get a relationship with the creator of the universe.”

“But what about sin?” Brian was twisting his earring. “We’re told to live a certain way. We’re told not to sin.”

“With Jules, I lived differently because of her. I was neater. Didn’t drink. Didn’t eat fast food standing over the sink. All the things. She asked me not to, but I acted differently because of love, not rules. Same, I think, with God. If you’re living your life with God, there are things you don’t do…not because of hell or a list somewhere, but because of love. It’s a relationship. It’s love.”

“Really?” Eve said this with one hand on her belly.

“I think so.” I nodded. “But you decide, don’t take my word for it. That’s the faith thing.”

She looked around at our group. “Do you guys believe that?”

There were nods. Not all were enthusiastic…but they all nodded.

She said, “OK, I’ll try.”

Toby said, “Hooray!”

With a sly grin and just a little snark in her voice, she muttered, “Glutton.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Fornicator.”

I said, “Human.”

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There’s only one more episode in this season of That Other Flock. The finale: Episode 15: “Falling Up”

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